The author argued that the dark side of living in a city is actually an advantage. I can see her point. The blatant sin you see in the city (hookers, drunks falling over and vomiting, fist fights, drug dealers on the street) is great opportunity to explain to your kids about sin. She said she even didn't have to explain the evils of something like drunkenness because her kids already saw for themselves. She pointed out that it's good for kids to see such visible societal ills/evil/sin while they are young because that is when your influence over them is greatest and you can talk to them about it - "they aren't shielded from it until just as they are leaving home and you're no longer an influence in their lives." Good point. She also said: "sin is more visible and salvation more plausible in the city." Sin further highlights the need for salvation.
For us, we don't live in a city like New York City. Granted, our city is pretty secular and Western, a contrast to the rest of the country, but not on the scale of New York City. It may be that I haven't seen enough of my city but hookers, drug dealers, vomiting drunks are not visible. Yes, sin is rampant in the city...just not as visible. In the summer, we see skimpily covered women but a great deal more of women who are covered from head to toe except for their faces and hands. This is a conservative city and country in comparison. So, the argument in the above paragraph is weak in our case.
The author went on to contrast the dark side of city living to the light side of city living: culture (music, museums, etc) is rich, accessible, and variable. The other benefits mentioned in the article were mostly in the context of ch*rch planting and having your kids surrounded by hip, urban Chr'tians who also wield great influence on your kids. That may apply in our situation in the future but....I'm skeptical.
I look beyond city living to the benefits of living internationally. We took A to the Deaf club yesterday and it really warmed my heart to see A interacting with everyone there. The differences in race, age, language, culture were not barriers to A. She was fearless, communicated with everyone the best she could (using American Sign Language), and she was friendly. She is also adaptable; she knows how to switch between hearing people and deaf people. She's at the age where kids are color-blind, age-blind, etc and accept others unconditionally. She's perfectly happy playing with kids who don't speak her language and picking up their language, as much as she's happy playing with English-speaking kids, as much as she is happy signing to her Deaf mommy. I hope that she grows up to be kind, compassionate, and understanding of people who are different from her.
Bringing this post to a close, I just want to say that I love the benefits she'll reap from living internationally, the variety in her experiences, the people she'll meet; I just don't love her growing up surrounded by concrete, graffiti, and smog. I don't love the restrictions she has that I didn't have as a kid. Being a city kid isn't necessarily all bad, it just wasn't something I'd envisioned for my kids. I have to remind myself that being a city kid doesn't mean she won't love the natural outdoors -- beaches, mountains, lakes, etc. I'll make sure she'll have plenty of opportunities to enjoy them.
Okay, I'm done. The article ended with a bullet point list of benefits to living in the city, including the practical and lifestyle benefits. I've copied and pasted below, with a few comments.
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Reasons to Love City Living
Money Savers
- no car purchase + insurance + parking + gas + repairs
- many free cultural events (e.g., Shakespeare, Philharmonic in the Park), not just amateur performers
- avoid the many hidden costs of house ownership
Savings of Time and Money
- subway
- no house repairs
- no lawn and garden care (what if you like gardening?)
- no auto maintenance
Lifestyle Benefits
- simplicity more possible---you collect less stuff in small apartments
- immediate family is closer physically, harder for kids to isolate themselves; meals together more likely
- apt cleaning/care is easier, less time-consuming than a house
- you don't spend all your free time on house/yard chores
- no scraping off your car in icy weather---enjoy walking in the snow instead
- no school snow days---the subway is always working (oh, we've had snow days here)
- sense of community, bonding, in your immediate neighborhood
- for new parents, especially stay-at-home moms, you don't experience the isolation and despair of being stuck at home all day, unable to go out or even see another adult person---just a trip to the laundry room gives you someone to talk to, and a stroll outside brings you to the world
- many large American cities have something like Fresh Direct: order your groceries online and have them delivered the next day, boxed, to your kitchen; great if you are sick or time pressured
- fresh fruit and cheap flowers at corner stands rival expensive shops elsewhere
- great food in every restaurant---no bad meals (not true in this city - there are hardly any ethnic restaurants here and I've met a number of people who have never had Chinese, Indian, Thai, Italian, etc and have only eaten their own national cuisine their whole lives. I've had bad meals here, too)
Kids
- less peer pressure; great diversity of interests and skills in every school cancels the need to fit into a mold
- diversity of friends and classmates makes them comfortable anywhere in the world later on (the truest thing that article could say about our daughter)
- babysitters within walking distance or travel on own---no driving them home late at night
- babysitting less expensive with neighborhood co-op
- kids' friends often within walking distance, or meet at playground; no carpooling
- easy access to cultural enrichment activities (music, art, drama, parks)
- you do things with your kids, rather than sending them out to play in the yard
- teens don't need a car
- teens aren't riding with other teens who may be reckless, drunk, or newly minted drivers
- navigating the city makes them resourceful---not going to be unnerved anywhere else
- kids as young as 9 years old can take themselves to their own dental and allergist appointments, music lessons, playmates (Nine years old? I don't think so)
- you are able to process the sinfulness of the world, which is up close and visible in the city, with your children; they aren't shielded from it until just as they are leaving home and you are no longer as much an influence in their lives.
- sin is more visible and salvation more plausible in the city
General
- airline prices are cheaper to/from larger cities; fewer transfers
- closer to ministry opportunities, especially diverse groups, the poor, ethnic communities (instead of traveling many miles to reach a people group); virtually all people groups are in the city
- less expensive for getaways; can travel by subway to a new neighborhood or a cultural enclave for a change of pace; so many unique experiences close at hand
- easier to reach the suburbs from the city center than to reach the city center from the suburbs
- accessibility to the best of the best in: professional sports, cultural interests (museums, lectures), entertainment (theatre, music, improv), educational opportunities/options, shopping, influencers in every field, restaurants, medical care
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