Running

I've started running again. It'd been two years since I stopped running. I gave it up for two reasons. I had chronic ITB band syndrome that was caused by uneven leg lengths, according to my orthopedic doctor. ITB band syndrome is difficult to recover from. There wasn't much I could do about my uneven leg lengths and it seemed that I would always have ITB band syndrome. I kept running off and on but found some relief on the treadmill at the local Y. Secondly, we moved overseas and running fell low on my priority list. When I got pregnant, I pretty much gave up the idea right then. After that, I worked out to DVDs in my living room or went for long walks until I got too pregnant, fat, and tired.

When D turned 5 months, I finally began exercising again, alternating between DVDs and CrossFit-style workouts. Some months later, I was trying to work out and the girls were crying, wanting to join in and get tangled up in my workouts, climbing on me as I was doing mountain climbers, G was frustrated trying to keep them away while I used the living room space. I said, "Gah! I've gotta get out of here!" I went for a run. Oh, how I missed running! The escape, the freedom, the time to myself, the rush of endorphins afterward.

I starting running this summer but I was kind of unfocused and unsure what to do. I really wanted to learn how to run smart and prevent injury. I started researching madly, wondering if my leg length discrepancy was really the death knell for running. I am addicted to researching and information and it really does come into handy because I learned through my research that it is possible to run injury-free. I could run without pain in my hips and knee. No more piriformis syndrome (another injury I suffered, notably during my half-marthon in Warsaw, Poland) and ITB syndrome.

I have on my computer a training schedule, customized to my history of injuries and level of experience by a certified running coach with 14 years of experience. Since I'm starting from scratch after a two-year hiatus, I'm a beginning runner. The schedule includes core strength workouts, ITB band rehab exercises (to prevent the syndrome), glute exercises (weak hip muscles can cause ITB band syndrome), hip openers, and tennis ball work. The schedule is about preventing injury but the coach built in exercises during my runs to build speed and endurance safely, on top of increasing mileage so I appreciate that. It's only been about three weeks on this training schedule and so far, so good.

Running is not my favorite topic to blog about but the reason I decided to blog about it is for a measure of accountability. I enjoy seeing progress in my running and the incremental improvements are really addicting and encouraging. Having goals will facilitate that even more. My goal is to run some races and there is an 8k (a hair under 5 miles) race next month. The race is also a marathon, 15k, and 10k. I tried to sign up for the 10k but the registration was full but the 8k was available. It's a fun run, meaning it's not timed. The unique thing about this race is that it's the only race in the world that spans two continents, starting on the Asian side and over a bridge to the European side. How cool is that? It's definitely a bucket list item so the 8k is a good start.

My next goal is to run a 10k and I am scouring for other races in the spring but I am not finding anything that isn't a trail race, which I have zero experience in...unless you count my wild hoyden childhood days running around barefoot on dirt roads and in the woods. I may have to wait until we go stateside to run a 10k.

My next big goal is to run a half-marathon next fall after we come stateside. I should be able to find one easily in North Carolina or Virginia.

Now that I've told you what my goals are, I will start to feel accountable, thinking that you guys are checking on me, even though you may actually forget this post within minutes of reading this and won't actually be checking on me but my imagination will do the rest and that should give some motivation to achieve my goals.

Okay, half-marathon next fall or bust!

Signs You've Been Here Too Long

I happened to stumble onto an article written by a Spanish expat living (or lived) here in IST. It's 50 signs you've been in my country too long. I didn't identify with some of the items on his list (mostly has to do with partying, alcohol, or food I can't eat), especially one item that says you're thinking about growing a mustache. I can't grow one but I can see why he said that; so many men here wear mustaches. Anyway, I deleted what doesn't apply to me so the list was pared down to 36 signs.

1. You automatically take off your shoes when entering a house.

2. Friends don’t invite you to their homes for dinner, but for breakfast.

3. You know the name of the guy at the bakkal (corner store) on your street.

4. Everything is çok (very): çok güzel, çok iyi, çok ayıp...

5. You have started to answer questions by repeating the answer (evet, evet; var, var; hayır, hayır; yok, yok).

6. You’ve forgotten what it means to recycle.

7. You no longer hear the honking of car horns.

8. You know there is always traffic in Istanbul: the question is whether there is traffic or A LOT of traffic.

9. You know you’ll find a portrait of Atatürk everywhere you go.

10. You have learned to accept yogurt as something salty you drink with your food rather than something sweet you eat for dessert.

11. You hardly hear it anymore when the mosques issue the call to prayer. Five times a day. Starting at 05.30.

12. You have drunk çay when it’s 35 degrees Celsius outside.

13. You know the only way to cross the street is kamikaze-style, with the cars passing just a few centimetres away. Traffic lights? What are those?

14. You know the first rule about Atatürk is: you do not say anything bad about Atatürk.

15. And the second rule about Atatürk is: you do not say anything bad about Atatürk.

16. You ask for a student discount or try to bargain for almost everything.

17. Remember when you used to notice how there was always a joker jumping the queue without anyone complaining? Now you’re that joker.

18. You’re still looking for the cheapest kebab in the city.

19. You do not say "ok"; you say "tamam."

20. You kiss both cheeks with your close friends.

21. It doesn’t surprise you anymore to see two macho guys walking together with linked arms.

22. The entrance to your house looks like a shoe store.

23. You have accepted olives and cheese as part of your breakfast.

24. You have accepted that there will always be soup and yogurt with your food.

25. You have accepted yogurt as a sauce.

26. You think it’s normal to "drink a cigarette," "close the phone" or having it be "raining snow."

27. You call older neighbours "aunt" and "uncle."

28. You don’t get surprised when some people still give prices in millions of liras.

29. You now expect to get a wet-wipe soaked in lemon scent at the end of a restaurant meal (and sometimes will take extra to stick in your bag for the kids -- added by Diana)

30. When you need groceries, you call the shop on the corner and have them sent up to you in a basket.

31. You know that kahvaltı means "under or after the coffee" – and that there is never coffee after breakfast.

32. You know you’ll always find the sugar served in cubes

33. You’ve stopped expecting sauce in your döner kebab and know it is normal to find French fries in it instead (I expect it in Greg's durums) 

34. You only go to the historic part of the city when your friends visit you.

35. You think it’s normal for motorcyclists to ride in the wrong direction, without a helmet, and sometimes on the sidewalk.

36. You know every building has a name of a person on it, and usually two numbers: the old one and the new one.

I would add a few more:

37. You now know all the hand gestures and head movements and eyebrow raises; they are surprisingly numerous, intricate, and subtle.

38. You think nothing of taking several modes of transportation in one trip in the city, which includes a taxi, ferry, metro, bus, minibus, metrobus, dolmus, and tram.

39. You shop at pazars which are the cheapest places to buy produce.

40. You hardly notice the profuse attention and gifts lavished on your children.

41. You drive and lay on the horn like a native.

42. You don't notice the metal detectors and lack of trashcans at the malls anymore, and because of the lack of trashcans, you're accustomed to leaving your mess on the table in the food court.

What Happened to August?

What a blur.

August was a blur. After my last post, we celebrated DB's birthday, found out G's grandfather had passed away after a summer-long decline, then celebrated my birthday, and a week later, G left for the States for 10 days to celebrate the exemplary character and life of his grandfather. Two days after G returned, our supervisors came to stay for about 6 days. We filled the days with meetings and training. After our supervisors left, the following week was chaotic with my ear infection (which can make you feel ill!), A's illness, doctor appointments for the girls and myself, preschool issues, babysitter search, numerous things cropping up, etc. We're now going into the second week of September and I can finally say that we will start settling back into routine.

Whew.

While G was gone, I got sick with the worst allergy attacks I've had in years. As a general rule, I don't really have respiratory allergies. I tend to have attacks when there is a sudden change in allergens. For instance, I once flew to an area of the United States that was in high pollen season and as soon as I landed, my immune system went nuts and I had a bad allergy attack. I was inhaling pollen that we didn't have in Florida and my body was not accustomed to it. In this case, I blame my allergy attacks on the Lodos. It's a wind that blows from Africa, carrying minerals and dust. We have had our windows open all summer long to the breezes and the obligatory dirt blow in and cover everything. I had no problem with allergies. I started to get the sniffles shortly before G left and the attacks became progressively worse and I fell really ill. I noticed that there was an unusual amount of dirt covering surfaces in my house. My black glass stovetop would be covered with a thick layer within an hour of wiping it clean. DB's hands and knees were blacker than usual. I have no idea if the Lodos was blowing while G was gone so maybe it wasn't the Lodos but a just crazy amount of dirt in the air. The locals often blame respiratory illnesses on the Lodos so maybe I'm just acting like a local...

While G was gone, I learned that a cranky, hot, sick, tired mama does not a patient mama make. I know that logically but what I am trying to say that I have learned my limits. I yelled at my girls more than once (cringe). As I spent sleepless night after sleepless night from nasal congestion and waking up to sneeze and blow my nose, I decided to give myself a break for the sake of the girls. I turned on the AC more than usual so that reduced some of my crankiness. I took a couple of days off from language and concentrated on resting as my allergies slowly subsided under the onslaught of Claritin. Instead of the usual 15-minute walk to school to pick up A, I drove the car because walking in the heat exhausted my already-taxed body too quickly and A was melting down more than usual on the walk home, and the two combining conditions made my patience disintegrate within seconds. I got help from local American friends who paid a bill for me, spent an afternoon chatting with me, met with me for coffee (in very strong winds, I might add -- it was the Lodos!) so I wouldn't go crazy being cooped up, and hosted me and the girls for dinner once. I watched a lot of movies at night.

It's sad because I'd started off really well during G's absence before spiraling down into the dark void of allergies - I was accomplishing language tasks, keeping the house picked up (not necessarily clean), doing reasonably well in feeding the girls cooked meals (which was easy with the crockpot and the leftovers stretched two or three days so I didn't cook as often), keeping up the laundry, etc. All that was short-lived....it's the Lodos, I tell you!

Needless to say, the girls survived. They were overjoyed to see their daddy and so was I. I learned a lesson about parenting alone while sick: cut yourself some slack, for goodness's sake. Although I am still suffering slight attacks of sneezing now and then and my subsequent ear infection have healed, I no longer feel ill and my energy and mental clarity have returned. The weather is lovely now that the heat has subsided and the temperatures are in the mid-70's. The cool fall weather does wonders for the disposition; I feel like a new person.

And now, to get back into routine....

(which is a joke between G and I because our life is not normal and a routine is nearly impossible).

Produce Trees

One of the surprising things about this super urban city is the amount of fruit trees and berry bushes everywhere. There may not be a lot of green grass but there are tiny strips of land around apartment buildings and whatnot (in my area). On those strips of land, fruit trees grow. In the summer, you can see fig trees, apricot trees, plum trees, and orange trees. Today, I saw what looks like a blackberry bush.

You could essentially live off the land here.

Just sharing an observation, that's all.

Organizing

Ever since I returned from vacation about three weeks ago, I've noticed a surge of motivation, energy, alertness. Prior to vacation, I was in a fog, as I mentioned in a post, from being so tired, stressed, and too busy. My thinking processes slowed down to the rate of molasses and I was constantly forgetful (putting things in the wrong places, turning off lights in a room forgetting that someone was still occupying it, etc). Vacation helped and what's also helping is that I've weaned DB to two feedings a day. My body is becoming less taxed after nearly two years of growing a human being and then sustaining said human being with food. I remember the same surge of energy after I weaned A.

So, when I realized that a vacation week of making only two decisions daily (what to eat and whether to swim in the pool or sea) subsequently lifted the brain fog, I needed to simplify my life more. I can't eliminate much but I can super-organize it, as far as I am able with the unpredictable nature of my job and expat life that defies organization.

Now, I've never had to be a super-organized nerd - and I say "nerd" affectionately because I think all nerds are wonderful - because I didn't juggle so many things like I do currently. It doesn't mean I was less busy before but I was able to stay on top of things without needing an organizational tool or a calendar. I don't really have great organization skills.

To learn some organizational skills, I went to ol' reliable Google and stumbled on the concept of homemaking binder. A homemaking binder is simply a central place to keep everything in order to keep your home running (and whatever else you need to keep running). You keep everything you need in it and you can put in anything you want: contact list, birthday/anniversary list, daily/weekly/monthly planner, task list, cleaning schedule, meal planner/recipe lists/inventories, anything related to kids like school, activities, etc, home maintenance reminders, budget/financial planner, auto maintenance log, etc. You can find many printables on the Internet for free that you can print and fill out for your use -- and they're pretty printables, too :-) It's whatever you want the binder to be but the point is that everything is organized, listed, and put in one central place.

A central place seemed like a good idea, especially since I have no desk. I'm terrible because I keep the calendar on my computer and phone (which syncs with G's calendar so we can see each other's schedule and not double-book ourselves), the grocery list on the whiteboard in the kitchen, the meal planner is usually written down on a piece of paper or on the whiteboard, various stuff on my computer, and I write to-do lists in a notebook which I also jot down ideas and thoughts so the notebook itself is disorganized. The notebook is never in the same place and it migrates from the bedroom to living room to kitchen and back to living room.

So, I've started a binder and it's still a work in progress. My binder isn't just a homemaking binder; it's also a language and work binder. It will help me tremendously to use my time efficiently when I am focusing on language study with its various tasks and projects which are simultaneous so that's a lot of balls to juggle in the air. I can also schedule activities for the girls by keeping it all in the binder. I can also write down work-related tasks (not language) in one category, instead of intermixing the tasks with other tasks on one list so the list is just long and jumbled and not prioritized. Anyway, I could go on and on.

Even though my binder is still a work in progress, I already feel less stressed. I am finally adjusting to the hectic, unpredictable expat life, balancing work and family, and adjusting to the strange nature of my job that isn't like any 9-to-5 job in the States. I won't say that I've arrived but I am getting there.

Cheers!

Am I Cut Out For Motherhood?

As I went through college, I had many plans in my ambitious heart. I was going to have a career and make X amount of money, driven by a quest for security. Marriage was definitely in the plans and as for having children, I was absolutely devoid of any feelings about it. I didn't really see myself as a mother and, to be honest, I didn't have a great respect for motherhood. I suspect, looking back, I was influenced by rampant feminism which exalts career over motherhood. Be a homemaker who stays home with her kids? Not me.

Then, I became a believer just before my last year of college. My ambitions and fierce need for a hefty savings account to protect me from all the trials of the world slowly disappeared. I learned to put my self-worth and my security in the Son. The desire for marriage and the lack of maternal urge remained. 

Since the Son changed the many plans in my heart, I didn't get a career that I envisioned. It wasn't because the choice was taken from me. Instead, I pursued the Son's calling on my life clear across the Atlantic Ocean to another country for two years without a single regret about the direction my life was taking. Then, I got married. I still had no urge to have kids but I wasn't opposed to them either. Motherhood seemed like such a thankless task. Almost uncool. I wasn't really suited for homemaking and motherhood because my gifts and skills lie elsewhere. 

I actually chose and pursued motherhood with heartfelt prayers because a loss of a precious baby, who the Father planted in my heart to my surprise. My priorities and the many plans in my heart changed. After discovering that our baby no longer lived, I suddenly understood the value of a child and how motherhood was a noble calling. The loss changed me irrevocably. 

With one baby in heaven, the Father has blessed us with two girls. Am I cut out for domesticity and motherhood now? Of course not. As I pointed out above, my gifts and skills lie elsewhere.  My skills and gifts are not in hospitality, organizing, decorating, baking, teaching at a preschool level, making cool crafts with the kids, and things pertaining to homemaking and motherhood. I stumble through each day making mistakes and struggle with feelings of inadequacy often.

As I said, motherhood is a calling. If I have learned anything in my life about the numerous callings the Father placed on me, I was never equipped in the first place and the Father never abandoned me to obey His calling on my own. He always equips and brings about fruit. One doesn't have to have amazing parenting and homemaking skills to be a mother; the most important part is the grace the Father extends to a mother. The grace is bottomless and always sufficient. If my kids turn out to follow the Son with all their hearts, it will be because of His grace, not my skills or the lack of. 

If anything, the feelings of inadequacy are the perfect sign that I am where I am supposed to be....completely reliant on His grace. That's the way to go. 

PS: If you can't follow my thread of reasoning here, it's because I wrote this at midnight and I ought to be in bed.

Summer Time, Fourth of July, and Vacation

This summer has been really nice and cool so far. This morning, it's about 75 degrees outside with cool breezes running through the house. The temperatures climb into the mid-80s and it's still humid, as evident by the hair around my face curling into waves (not pretty ones). Our building heats up by the end of the day and if the breezes aren't blowing in the right direction, our apartment will get too still and warm. I would feel sorry for the girls when they play and their hair get plastered to their skulls with sweat. They spend their days in underwear and diaper, respectively. By 6:00, it's hot enough that we'll turn on the klima so the girls (and us adults) can cool down and get comfortable for bed. Some days, the building will heat up in the relentless sun and it's too warm to cook. Nevertheless, this summer has not been as hot as last summer. It was downright miserable then and I was in my last weeks of pregnancy on top of that.

With the breezes comes the dust. Our house is covered with a layer of dust. The soles of my feet are always dirty from walking around barefoot. Poor baby D, her knees and top of her feet are black from crawling around. It necessitates a new step to departing the house - wipe down her knees and feet so she'd be presentable to the outside world.

Another thing about summer is the summer produce. It's always so lovely to eat all summer long - the fresh, juicy fruit and light vegetables. We eat fruit here that we normally wouldn't in the States - a type of melon that, when cut up, goes nicely with chopped peaches; apricots; sweet cherries; green plums. We also eat the ordinary fruit like watermelon, grapes, kiwis, peaches, and nectarines. There is a store that sells a particular type of cherry tomatoes (here, they're called "seker domates" - sugar tomatoes) that I am obsessed with and I pop them into my mouth or eat them with feta cheese. DB seems to like every fruit I've offered to her, although she will only eat kiwi to a point.

We spent the Fourth of July at the beach on the Black Sea, just like last year. It was a bigger crowd this year and it was pretty fun. We didn't stay for s'mores and the sunset this time with an early bedtime for the littlest.

Two days after celebrating the Fourth, we left for a weeklong vacation in Cyprus with friends, Michelle and Shannon and their two girls about the same age as ours. They transferred their timeshare to a resort in Cyprus and invited us along. We stayed in a condo facing the sea and we watched gorgeous sunsets from the couch through the wide balcony doors thrown open to the breezes. The restaurant at the resort was staffed by Pakistanis and they made delicious Pakistani food. I couldn't eat enough of it. I was overjoyed to eat ethnic food, besides Turkish food and my own cooking. We rented a car and in Cyprus, they drive on the opposite side like Great Britain.

We mainly spent the vacation swimming in the pool where A was finally brave enough to put her face in the water and to jump into the pool without us catching her. She's turning into a fish and the sun is turning her into a brown nut (did I just mix my metaphors?). DB got her eighth tooth during vacation and loved the pool. On afternoons when she was crabby from teething and bad naps, she was easily lifted out of her crankiness by the spending time in the pool. The beach was nice, the waves were wonderful, and the Mediterranean Sea is warmer than the Black Sea.

We really needed a vacation. We were staying pretty busy and I had (and still do!) so much on my plate that my brain function was slowing. I was sinking into a fog, forgetting things, finding things in unusual places (for instance, a bag of curry powder in the freezer - ?!), and I could not think clearly. Case in point, I brought the camera for vacation but forgot the memory card. I also forgot floats, toys, books for the girls. You could call it the mommy brain but it's not; it has happened before I was ever married and having kids. It usually happens when I am stressed and have too much going on. It took about 6 days of vacation for the brain fog to finally clear and I felt more alert. The only decisions we had to make were whether we'd go to the pool or beach and what we were going to eat. I didn't have ten thousand things running through my head, anxiety over decisions to be made, a long to-do list, and the frustration of not being able to do it all (a job and raising a family). Ah, the simple life.

The monthlong fasting has started here so things seem to be pretty quiet. I am thankful for that. I know it sounds terrible but I confess that I look forward to the monthlong fasting, despite the reasons for their ritual. The city is just quieter and there is less traffic as people disappear to their summer homes out in the country or on the beach. The work of building relationships slows down for a bit and I can catch a bit of rest.

There is an express supermarket that is opening up one block over from our apartment and I'm pretty excited about it. The full-sized supermarket by the same name is in a mall that I drive to about once a month for pantry staples and paper items. Hopefully the express supermarket will carry everything I need and I don't have to make those monthly trips to the full-sized one anymore and daily trips to multiples stores. I mention this to provide a snapshot of our daily life - we go to multiple stores around our block everyday for fresh produce and for dinner ingredients. This express supermarket will cut down the time spent going to different stores and should have everything we need at a decent prices, even gluten-free items. Yay!

Here's a cultural tidbit: the folks here feed their babies differently than we do. For example, they don't have a problem feeding candy and ice cream to their babies and I don't do that with my babies. I'm always surprised when people give DB suckers, chocolate, and ice cream. The good thing is, they don't expect her to eat it right then so I'm always able to put their gifts away and eat it myself. Kind of a nice perk :-)

That's all I can think of to share. Even though I forgot the memory card to our camera, I took a few pictures with my phone. Here they are:

4th of July with other American expats

The Black Sea, taken from the cliff. Can you spot people swimming?

The first few minutes of acclimating to the wrong side of the car and the road

Early morning view of the Mediterranean from the condo

Our little water bug

This picture doesn't do justice to the gorgeous sunset - taken from our balcony