We Are....

We are expecting a baby to join our little family around August 3! I am 8 weeks along.

You know, most people wait until the first trimester is over before making a public announcement like I just made. A lot of them do that because the risk of miscarriage is highest during the first trimester. I waited to announce my pregnancy with Ava, after telling only family and some close friends. I found myself doing the same with this pregnancy.

I got to thinking in the last couple of weeks. Why am I waiting? What am I afraid of? Our first pregnancy with baby Nikao ended in a miscarriage. That experience never goes away and can hang around like a specter in subsequent pregnancies. It hangs around in the back of your mind, coming to the forefront whenever something feels different, such as lack of morning sickness one day or a burst of energy another day, when the first trimester usually beats pregnant women down with fatigue and nausea. A previous loss makes you more careful, more paranoid. You avoid things with such undue diligence. Sometimes you're actually even thankful when a wave of nausea rolls over you because it's your proof that the pregnancy is still viable. With all of that comes the desire to wait to announce until the first trimester is over. Once you finally climb out of the first trimester pit and kiss it goodbye, you sigh a breath of relief as if all risk of the baby dying has disappeared in a poof.

But, you know, your pregnancy can end in a stillbirth in the second or third trimester. I don't mean to be gloomy, especially in the wake of our happy announcement. My point is that the risk of a loss doesn't stop in the first trimester. I could make the announcement at 12 weeks, only to lose the baby at 14 weeks. So what is it I am trying to avoid by delaying the announcement until the end of the first trimester if the risk, although low, is still present in the second and third trimesters?

I think that people follow the custom of waiting until the end of the first trimester to announce because if they do miscarry, then they can keep their pain private and to further avoid any more pain of having to explain over and over to many people that they've miscarried. It's understandable. I felt the same.

But, in doing so, I will have stolen the opportunity for the Father to be glorified. How is He glorified during a tragedy? With my miscarriage, I was walking through the saddest valley in my life and it was deep in that valley that I was paradoxically very happy. It was because I had such a tremendous, supernatural experience of walking with the Father closely, clinging to Him, and being infused with His comfort and strength. He didn't take the grief away but...I cannot put my finger on it...His brand of comfort somehow took away the bitter sting of grief. He is glorified because when I called to Him for help, He came through. He is able and faithful and will do the same for you.

This morning, as I was having my alone time with the LJC and my cup was overflowing, I was reminded - why are you afraid of another miscarriage? I remembered that the Father comforted me with our loss of Nikao. He can do it again but more than that, I know that He will do it again.

So, here I say: I am 8 weeks pregnant and I will not fear. In the case of loss, I will not hide my grief but will stand up and say, "The L-rd gave and the L-rd has taken away; blessed be the name of the L-rd," (Job 1:21). Let Him be glorified in me, in my life, in everything because He is good.

A Facelift

In October, I mentioned going to a city about a 2-hour plane ride away and posted pictures. This weekend, we went back to the same city. It started snowing the day we arrived (Friday) and it continued to snow all night. It was the first snow of the winter (and unusually early) so I didn't think it would stick. It ended up snowing 5 inches or so and the snow cover was still there when we left today. I thought the barren, rocky mountains were beautiful with the snow. I wish we had our fancy schmancy camera with us but this was the best we could do with our little point-and-shoot. Here are some different views:

The nighttime picture above is gorgeous. The cloud cover disappeared and the moon was just brilliant, making the mountains glow. You can even see some stars in the picture...

Turkey and Games

We had a great Thanksgiving! We spent it with co-workers at a co-worker family's flat. It was a spacious flat and able to accommodate a good crowd. There were 16 adults and 7 kids and two babies - only missing 4 adults. It was potluck obviously and there were many delicious eats! We stuffed ourselves full, talked a while, and then the men and women split to play games which was a lot of fun! :-) The kids played amongst themselves throughout the flat and we all just had a grand ol' time. We forgot our camera so no pictures to post - sorry!

I'd posted last time about going on a hunt for sweet potatoes and after hitting several stores, I only found one. Just a single potato. I was a little sad then I shook it off because there is a lot more important things to be thankful for! Then, I found out today that there are a bunch of sweet potatoes at an international supermarket chain store. Too late.

It was way past A's bedtime when we finally collected our dirty serving dishes and utensils and left. As G and I stepped outside, we both suddenly realized that we weren't in America anymore. It was just the oddest sensation because we never forgot that we were in a foreign country the entire day but we'd just celebrated an American holiday, ate American food, hung out with Americans, and played American games. I think we just enjoyed ourselves so thoroughly that our brains relaxed unconsciously and we forgot to expect foreign surroundings when we walked out the building. Oh yeah, we're not in Kansas anymore, Toto. And no, the odd sensation wasn't accompanied by homesickness so don't feel sorry for us :-)

Oh, G's birthday was on Thanksgiving and I made a gluten-free coconut cake for him with whipped cream icing and coconut flakes. It was really yummy. The texture of the cake changed after a day (that's the way it is with gluten-free baking sometimes) but we still chowed down on cake for a couple of days. I think G really enjoyed his birthday this year hanging out with our Sunday morning group - we loved the group and have couples our age in the group that we love and get along with.

We put up our Christmas tree just before Thanksgiving but left it bare since I had to hunt for lights to string on the tree (which I finally purchased yesterday). Both of our language teachers helped us hang the lights on our tree this afternoon so that was really fun. There are still no ornaments on the tree yet and I'm considering waiting until the next time my language teacher comes to hang the ornaments with me. That would be a lovely tradition to start, inviting nationals to put up the tree and hang the ornaments with us.

We will be hosting Christmas this year for our Sunday morning group and I am looking forward to that. They are such a great bunch and I will enjoy having them in our home.

Well, now that the Thanksgiving holiday weekend is over, we're back in the swing of things: language, end of the year administrative things, projects, Christmas shopping, and countless errands which are never-ending. G has school on top of all that, also - poor guy.

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving and I hope the Christmas season will be full of joy as we remember who the "star" of Christmas is and how he took on flesh and dwelt among us.

Lately

I like posting random stories here but I realized the other day that the blog probably needs a good comprehensive update now and then. Here's one:

Lately, we have been busy off and on. It's always something - language learning, work-related responsibilities, unexpected guests who tend to stay for hours at a time, long work-related meetings on video with people in different parts of the world, etc. 

Work: we continue to learn language and we're not very fond of the language program that we have to use. We do better learning from socializing with people. Our language program requires certain hours to be met each week and projects to complete in a timely manner. We are spending time with nationals as part of our requirements to practice our language and subsequently develop relationships. 

Culture: I am always learning interesting things about the culture here. Yesterday, I was reading about the honor/shame culture in this country (and Western cultures are mainly guilt cultures, with emphasis on right and wrong). Americans are highly individualistic and independent. People in this region tend not to be. They are more group-oriented. This influences the decisions and choices that they make. Also, I recently went to a baby shower of sorts which was pretty neat. I will have to post about it with some pictures soon. I am learning the superstitions in this culture - some makes me laugh, some makes me smack my forehead. It's not much different from America, though - we have our own urban legends and superstitions, too, whether we realize it or not. 

A: She goes to preschool three days a week and loves it. She has been sick this week with congestion and sore throat from which she ended up getting conjunctivitis. I kept her home last week from school and she's on the mend. Her vocabulary expands by leaps and bounds and she's forming good sentences. She's highly social and loves going places. She waves at random people on the street. On Saturday, we were waiting for a specific bus and A waved from the sidewalk to someone sitting on a bus that was being boarded by some people at our stop. He beamed and waved back. Yesterday, we walked by a restaurant and there was a couple sitting in the window. A waved at them and they also beamed and waved back. Friendly kid. 

Hearth and Home: We live in a bigger, spacious flat than we ever did since we were married. There is not a lick of carpet except for the rugs we put down. That's a lot of floor to sweep. I've come to a realization that since we have a guest (usually our language tutors) almost daily, it takes time to clean. And add a toddler to the mix and you get the idea. I'm still slowly making it a home. A recent touch was new curtains in our living room. I found a fabric store that leans more to my taste and was able to find bright and cheery material that I like for curtains. I had them made and now they're hanging. All I have left for the living room is to hang stuff on the walls. I still have to make curtains for Ava's room and hang a shelf and some pictures in her room. We also have a guest room that we need to outfit. I've been baking once a week, pretty regularly - mainly pumpkin muffins (which only last couple of days) and most recently spiced carrot bread. I ground brown rice to make rice flour for the first time over the weekend. It was a bit of work because I had to grind, then sift out the fine flour, grind then sift, grind then sift. I used the rice for that spiced carrot bread I mentioned.

Free Time: I get pockets of free time here and there and I read to de-stress a bit. I probably should be using those free time to accomplish more stuff but sometimes I just need to escape for a little bit. I usually read for about 10-15 minutes in bed each night before drifting off. It's my favorite part of my bedtime routine. Right now, I'm working through the Kathy Reich series and currently devouring the book, Bare Bones. I have not been able to sew much although I am expecting some Christmas fabric in the mail to make some Christmas decorations. I will have to get on the ball then! I'm not sure what G does for his free time - it's usually something on the computer. Sometimes when our brains have just ceased to function and we're exhausted, we will put in a movie and just disconnect for a little while. 

Upcoming Holidays: We will be celebrating Thanksgiving with our Sunday morning house group on Thursday. Sweet potato isn't really available here but I saw some in a store that import some things about a couple months ago. This week, I will be on the hunt for it because I really want me some sweet potato casserole. Yummy goodness. G's birthday is on Thanksgiving so I may attempt a coconut cake for him. Somehow, I'll have to cram in the time for that. We've put up our fake Christmas tree but it's bare of lights and decorations. I have to find some lights before I can hang ornaments. We will be spending Christmas here and will have Christmas dinner with our Sunday morning house group. A is at the age where she's understanding what Christmas is all about and is getting excited. It's definitely fun now. We don't do Santa with her but she's really excited about getting a star tree topper for our tree. Don't ask why...

Weather: It's been nice and nippy lately. We had some rainy and overcast days for a while and the sun has broken out in the last couple of days. It has mainly been in the low 50s during the day. Our flat stays pretty warm and sometimes too hot. I'm so accustomed to keeping the heat low and wearing a sweater in the house but in this flat, I can hardly bear long sleeves because it's so warm. We crack some windows to release the heat. I try turning down our radiators but I suspect apartments below us also heat up our apartment. The days are shorter, obviously, but I get surprised when it's dusk at 5 and pitch dark at about 5:30. When I pick A up from preschool, it's usually dark by the time we start our trip home. It just feels awfully late but it's not. I don't know why that's disconcerting to me - I forget that I don't live in the Sunshine State anymore. 

Visitors: After Christmas, we will have some dear friends come and stay with us for a little while. We will take them sightseeing around the city, let our kids play, eat some food and play games, and enjoy the fellowship. We are looking forward to that. 

It's lunchtime and I'm off to chow down.

Eerie

Have you ever seen the movie called The Happening, written and directed by M. Night Shyamalan? It was well executed and the idea was good but it was one of the worst I ever saw as far as gory movies go. It was so gory. I will do my best to describe some parts of the movie (which you will have seen if you saw previews for the movie) that relate to this post without spoiling the movie for you, if you haven't seen it.

The story is set in Pittsburgh, a bustling, teeming, busy city that never stops. You get the sense of people always moving; the parks full of people playing and walking, ongoing construction, heavy traffic on streets with blaring horns and sidewalks full of pedestrians headed somewhere, etc. Full of motion and noise.

Then....the wind blows.

A calm settles over the city.

Hurrying pedestrians are stopped dead in their tracks, motionless and staring vacantly ahead. Cars are completely stopped with drivers sitting deathly still in their seats. People enjoying the weather in the park stand where they are, also staring vacantly into space. Those reading books on park benches are sitting and staring expressionlessly ahead, unconscious of books lying in their laps.

It is too calm. Too still. It bodes ill for the folks, who became frozen as the wind blew over them.

At 9:05 am on Thursday, November 10th, I was living in a scene like that. Literally. We were in our apartment and we heard what sounded like a tornado warning siren. We walked to the windows to see what was going on. People on the sidewalk were stopped dead in their tracks. People looking out windows didn't move. Our doorman had been sweeping the stoop of our building and was also standing stock still with the broom in his hand, staring off into the distance. No cars were moving on what was normally a busy street. I saw a stooped grandma with her head covered by a scarf standing motionless. A group of young men stood together in a group on a corner, staring, motionless. One of them had his phone to his ear and as far as I could tell, he was not talking. It was a scene straight out of The Happening.

It was too eerie. But why the siren? Was something terrible about to happen? As far as we could tell, the weather was cold and overcast but calm with some gentle breezes. No signs of a storm. An earthquake? It's impossible to predict an earthquake and sound an alarm in advance. Catastrophe? No one seemed alarmed or running around in panic. The stillness was strange - I felt a little sliver of fear. What was happening?

Finally, after a couple of minutes, the alarm stopped and everybody suddenly went into motion. The doorman went back to sweeping. People disappeared from windows. The grandmother continued to the corner and around it. The gaggle of young men crossed the street. Cars started going by. Life resumed.

We were baffled. Hour and half later, G's language teacher showed up for their daily tutoring session. I asked about the siren and described what we saw outside our building - the frozen people on sidewalks and in windows. After he explained, he started laughing because how odd it must've seemed to us (I'd shown him the preview of The Happening on my computer). I was laughing because it turned out to be something simple as what I will explain below.

So, here's the story. At 9:05 am on November 10th of every year, everyone stops what they are doing and stands still to observe two minutes of silence in honor of the founder of modern Turkey, Ataturk. It was at the exact moment and day that he died in 1938. The entire country observes this moment of silence every year at this specific date and time. Today is basically Ataturk Memorial Day.

Ataturk was the first in the Central Asia and Middle East region to establish a democracy, back in early 1920s. They continue to be a successful model of what a Muslim society with a democratic government looks like. Many Turks love Ataturk for his brilliance, progressive views, his leadership and honor him every year.

Not The Happening, but a memorial. Whew.

Views

The building that we live in has only two apartments per floor. The stairwell and elevator shaft is in the center of the building so apartments occupy opposite ends of the building. That means that we have three walls to ourselves with windows all around. All our views are south, southwest, west, northwest, and north. So, I thought I'd post pictures of what we see out of our windows everyday. The pictures were taken at twilight so they're not the best. If I wait til bright daylight, I'll likely forget and keep forgetting so I figured I'd take the opportunity now and sacrifice quality.

North view

Close up of north view

Northwest view; from living room

The sun sets behind this building; west view from living room

Southwest view from living room

Southwest view

South view from Ava's bedroom

South view from kitchen; this is what I see while washing dishes below the window.

Not spectacular views. As urban as we are, we don't have views of an amazing skyline either. In fact, I'm not even sure there's many spectacular skylines in this city. Well, there you have it and now you can imagine the city life we live....

Hairstylists

As I walked around and saw more of the city, I started noticing the hundreds and hundreds of hair salons everywhere. Then I began to notice that that hairstylists are usually men. I've been checking almost every barbershop and hair salon that I pass by and men are usually cutting hair. So, it might be safe to say that a vast majority of hairstylists, if not all, are men. That's unusual by America's standards but perfectly ordinary here.

Then, something occurred to me. There are conservative women here who follow the majority way and cover their hair. Not a single strand peeps out. Males are not allowed to see their hair except for their own relatives. 

Okay, sooo....if all the hairstylists are men and men are not allowed to see a conservative female non-relative's hair, then where do the women go to get their hair cut? I know most of these conservative women keep their hair long, but surely they get their hair trimmed? Possibly the older women keep their hair short?

I asked my language teacher about it today. She is not conservative and doesn't cover her hair but her mother covered her own head. My teacher told me that women go to other women within their community to get a haircut. It wouldn't be a business open to the public, but a private service run in their homes. 

Interesting.

*Edit to add: I had a conservative friend and her family over for dinner a couple nights ago and I asked where she got her hair cut. She said she searched and found a place that has a woman stylist and they go into a private room to cut her hair, away from male eyes.