Why The City Is a Wonderful Place to Raise Children

G sent me an article that has the title above, knowing that I sometimes struggle a bit about A growing up in a city, especially as large as this one. I realized, after reading the article, that I get stuck in the rut of thinking of only negative impact of A growing up in a city. The article has helped me to see positives of A being a city kid. Read the full article here. It applies mainly to living in New York City where the author lives but I've adapted it to apply to our current situation and location.

The author argued that the dark side of living in a city is actually an advantage. I can see her point. The blatant sin you see in the city (hookers, drunks falling over and vomiting, fist fights, drug dealers on the street) is great opportunity to explain to your kids about sin. She said she even didn't have to explain the evils of something like drunkenness because her kids already saw for themselves. She pointed out that it's good for kids to see such visible societal ills/evil/sin while they are young because that is when your influence over them is greatest and you can talk to them about it  - "they aren't shielded from it until just as they are leaving home and you're no longer an influence in their lives." Good point. She also said: "sin is more visible and salvation more plausible in the city." Sin further highlights the need for salvation.

For us, we don't live in a city like New York City. Granted, our city is pretty secular and Western, a contrast to the rest of the country, but not on the scale of New York City. It may be that I haven't seen enough of my city but hookers, drug dealers, vomiting drunks are not visible. Yes, sin is rampant in the city...just not as visible. In the summer, we see skimpily covered women but a great deal more of women who are covered from head to toe except for their faces and hands. This is a conservative city and country in comparison. So, the argument in the above paragraph is weak in our case.

The author went on to contrast the dark side of city living to the light side of city living: culture (music, museums, etc) is rich, accessible, and variable. The other benefits mentioned in the article were mostly in the context of ch*rch planting and having your kids surrounded by hip, urban Chr'tians who also wield great influence on your kids. That may apply in our situation in the future but....I'm skeptical.

I look beyond city living to the benefits of living internationally. We took A to the Deaf club yesterday and it really warmed my heart to see A interacting with everyone there. The differences in race, age, language, culture were not barriers to A. She was fearless, communicated with everyone the best she could (using American Sign Language), and she was friendly. She is also adaptable; she knows how to switch between hearing people and deaf people. She's at the age where kids are color-blind, age-blind, etc and accept others unconditionally. She's perfectly happy playing with kids who don't speak her language and picking up their language, as much as she's happy playing with English-speaking kids, as much as she is happy signing to her Deaf mommy.  I hope that she grows up to be kind, compassionate, and understanding of people who are different from her.

Bringing this post to a close, I just want to say that I love the benefits she'll reap from living internationally, the variety in her experiences, the people she'll meet; I just don't love her growing up surrounded by concrete, graffiti, and smog. I don't love the restrictions she has that I didn't have as a kid. Being a city kid isn't necessarily all bad, it just wasn't something I'd envisioned for my kids. I have to remind myself that being a city kid doesn't mean she won't love the natural outdoors -- beaches, mountains, lakes, etc. I'll make sure she'll have plenty of opportunities to enjoy them.

Okay, I'm done. The article ended with a bullet point list of benefits to living in the city, including the practical and lifestyle benefits. I've copied and pasted below, with a few comments.

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Reasons to Love City Living

Money Savers

• no car purchase + insurance + parking + gas + repairs
• many free cultural events (e.g., Shakespeare, Philharmonic in the Park), not just amateur performers
• avoid the many hidden costs of house ownership

Savings of Time and Money

• subway
• no house repairs
• no lawn and garden care (what if you like gardening?)
• no auto maintenance

Lifestyle Benefits

• simplicity more possible---you collect less stuff in small apartments
• immediate family is closer physically, harder for kids to isolate themselves; meals together more likely
• apt cleaning/care is easier, less time-consuming than a house
• you don't spend all your free time on house/yard chores
• no scraping off your car in icy weather---enjoy walking in the snow instead
• no school snow days---the subway is always working (oh, we've had snow days here)
• sense of community, bonding, in your immediate neighborhood
• for new parents, especially stay-at-home moms, you don't experience the isolation and despair of being stuck at home all day, unable to go out or even see another adult person---just a trip to the laundry room gives you someone to talk to, and a stroll outside brings you to the world 
• many large American cities have something like Fresh Direct: order your groceries online and have them delivered the next day, boxed, to your kitchen; great if you are sick or time pressured
• fresh fruit and cheap flowers at corner stands rival expensive shops elsewhere
• great food in every restaurant---no bad meals (not true in this city - there are hardly any ethnic restaurants here and I've met a number of people who have never had Chinese, Indian, Thai, Italian, etc and have only eaten their own national cuisine their whole lives. I've had bad meals here, too)

Kids

• less peer pressure; great diversity of interests and skills in every school cancels the need to fit into a mold
• diversity of friends and classmates makes them comfortable anywhere in the world later on (the truest thing that article could say about our daughter)
• babysitters within walking distance or travel on own---no driving them home late at night
• babysitting less expensive with neighborhood co-op
• kids' friends often within walking distance, or meet at playground; no carpooling
• easy access to cultural enrichment activities (music, art, drama, parks)
• you do things with your kids, rather than sending them out to play in the yard
• teens don't need a car
• teens aren't riding with other teens who may be reckless, drunk, or newly minted drivers
• navigating the city makes them resourceful---not going to be unnerved anywhere else
• kids as young as 9 years old can take themselves to their own dental and allergist appointments, music lessons, playmates (Nine years old? I don't think so)
• you are able to process the sinfulness of the world, which is up close and visible in the city, with your children; they aren't shielded from it until just as they are leaving home and you are no longer as much an influence in their lives.
• sin is more visible and salvation more plausible in the city

General

• airline prices are cheaper to/from larger cities; fewer transfers
• closer to ministry opportunities, especially diverse groups, the poor, ethnic communities (instead of traveling many miles to reach a people group); virtually all people groups are in the city
• less expensive for getaways; can travel by subway to a new neighborhood or a cultural enclave for a change of pace; so many unique experiences close at hand
• easier to reach the suburbs from the city center than to reach the city center from the suburbs
• accessibility to the best of the best in: professional sports, cultural interests (museums, lectures), entertainment (theatre, music, improv), educational opportunities/options, shopping, influencers in every field, restaurants, medical care

Tulips

I love tulips. I'm from Florida and tulips don't bloom there - at least, not ordinarily - because the weather doesn't get cold enough. So, tulips have never been on my radar. I first developed a love for tulips when G sent a bouquet of tulips to my workplace for our first Valentine's. It came in a box packed with bags of ice slurry, complete with flower food and a vase. It was even more special because G was living in South America and I was in the US with absolutely no expectations of celebrating Valentine's with my long-distance boyfriend. At work, I was given a long box while helping a customer and I absently thought it was a package of work materials. When the customer left, I opened the box and there were beautiful, perfect red tulips nestled in the box from my love. You just have to imagine my utter surprise. It was better than getting roses. So, since then, I've loved tulips and look forward to every spring when tulips bloom. I had a June wedding and was disappointed when I couldn't get tulips for my bridal bouquet.

We went out of town over the weekend on a jet plane and I was reading the airline magazine. I was surprised to discover the tulips originally came from Central Asia. I always thought it originated in northern Europe and Holland just had a mad and slightly odd hobby of growing tulips. I say slightly odd because of the grand scale of their obsession with tulips. Ever see those enormous fields of tulips? The Latin name for tulips comes from the Turkish word for "turban," which apparently the flower resembles. Tulips were cultivated in gardens in my host country well before the 16th century. Fancy that. I'm in a region where one of my favorite flowers came from! The red tulips are decorated on ceramics here and is a symbol associated with my host country.

How did tulips get to Europe? Some dude from Europe saw them growing in Constantinople in middle of 1500s and got some bulbs or seeds. The earliest description of tulips growing in Europe was late 1500s. This is about when tulips had arrived in Holland. "Tulip mania" started in both Holland and my host country about 1630s so bulbs were highly coveted and sold for incredible prices and fortunes were made and lost in speculating in tulip bulbs! How crazy is that? (I did a simple Google search on the history of tulips so if you want in-depth info, just do the same).

So, the reason I am posting about this is that I've wanted to share things about this country, its culture, history, and interesting things. I was just surprised to see tulips part of the history here and they're one of my favorite flowers. When I read the airline magazine and found that it originated here, I got the idea to try growing some on my own. If it came from here, then I might have success in growing some in a pot.

I just remembered that tomorrow is Valentine's Day. Happy Valentine's Day to you!

Things I Have Learned to Make From Scratch

Tonight, G and I made chicken fajitas. I don't think I've had fajitas in over three years. I usually can't eat them in restaurants because they serve flour (read: gluten) tortillas with them. I'd never cared enough to make fajitas at home with store-bought corn tortillas, which are usually gluten-free, back when we were still in the States but a few of days ago, I saw a crockpot fajitas recipe on the Internet and it sparked in me a real craving for them. I waited until a Sunday afternoon when we're not in the usual afternoon/evening crunch with language sessions and A because I knew the preparation would take some time.

I didn't use the crockpot recipe that I mentioned above - instead, I just made it all on the stove. There were four things we've had to make from scratch for the meal, though: restaurant-style salsa, gluten-free corn tortillas, fajita seasoning, and sour cream, none of which is available here except for salsa. The salsa was a breeze to make with fresh ingredients in the food processor and since fresh cilantro isn't available here, we made do with dried cilantro from the States. The fajita seasoning was simple and I already had all the spices in my pantry. The sour cream was plain low-fat yogurt strained of whey over a few hours and with lemon juice added. It didn't taste exactly like sour cream but once it was put in the food, we couldn't tell the difference. This method of making sour cream seems to do in a pinch and we're definitely not picky

The gluten-free corn tortillas, though, cost me time in scouring the Internet for a recipe. Most recipes (gluten-free or not) call for masa harina, which I seriously doubt can be found in this country. It is traditional corn flour used in Mexico and is made of dried maize that is treated in a solution of lime and water (also known as "slaked lime" or calcium hydroxide), and then dried again and ground into flour. I searched and searched for a recipe that didn't use masa harina and finally stumbled on a recipe that uses plain cornmeal and flour. I had to adapt the recipe to make it gluten-free. Corn tortillas are very simple and easy to make. You can also cut up the tortillas into triangles, fry them, and there you have it...tortilla chips! I plan to do that tomorrow night because we have plenty of salsa left over. Chips and salsa is my favorite snack. Tortilla chips can be found here (sometimes) but they cost a pretty penny for such a small amount. It costs me just pennies to make the tortillas. I think I win.

You may think we're crazy for going to all that trouble but it took no time at all to cook from scratch. It's better than just going without and we can enjoy delicious meals this way. When there is a will, there is a way.

I was thinking earlier tonight at how much more I cook from scratch now, mainly because of my celiac disease and more so now because of living overseas. I was the "cook and bake from the box" kind of girl and went the pre-packaged route all the way. I remember the first time we made BBQ sauce from scratch. I was utterly surprised because it never occurred to me that stuff in bottles and boxes at the store could be made yourself at home! Just the other night, I made pesto from scratch. When it comes to Italian dishes, I prefer pesto with pasta than tomato sauce. Pesto takes less than 2 minutes to make and infinitely cheaper than store-bought. I make ranch dressing from scratch, too. I've had to make my own evaporated milk a few times. There is a number of things I've made from scratch that I would not have done in the States.

On another note, we bought a bread machine from a fellow celiac who was moving back to the States. It's nice to eat bread again and we're still testing different bread recipes. Friends who came to visit a month ago brought their flour mill that they no longer needed and plus bags of different grains (teff, sorghum, millet, flaxseed, etc) and beans (fava beans, etc) to grind into flour. They are living in an area which, from their description, I called "celiac heaven" because almost all the different flours a celiac would use can be found there. With the grinder, I will also be able to grind brown rice and chickpeas which are in plenty here.

Grinding my own flour is definitely going the "make from scratch" route. Cooking's not my favorite and if I wasn't a celiac and living overseas, you bet your bottom dollar I'd never make anything from scratch. It's amazing how life can dramatically change your choices and the way you live.

Sewing Again, Sewing Again, Jiggity Jig

This will count only the third time I've sewn since moving overseas. One time, I finished Ava's duvet cover and the other time, I made curtains for our bedroom. A friend asked me to make an apron for her sweet 2-year-old girl so I decided I'd try my hand at making patchwork and turning it into an apron. I took fabric scraps left over from Ava's very bright duvet cover and started cutting simple squares to make a simple block patchwork. The squares are quite small and quite tedious in piecing together....and quite time consuming. I made a mistake in cutting the squares too small. Oh well, my first attempt at patchwork and lesson was definitely learned. I put away the patchwork for another project - maybe small pillow for Ava's bed - and made a simple apron.

So, I finished the apron tonight and sweet Lane will have an apron to wear as she plays with her kitchen set and pretend to serve cupcakes and tea! Lane's mommy is a great cook and I think she wears aprons from time to time so now Lane can mimic her mommy.

Whew

Boy, have I got some catching up to do on this blog. Once you read this, you may forgive us for disappearing off the face of the earth for a little while. It should explain why we have not written you back or called you back or acknowledged you whatsoever. I am so sorry.

Christmas was a month ago but it seems like ages. I can barely remember what happened. I have to admit that I was in a funk all through the month of December. I had nausea and whopping fatigue like nothing but the first trimester can give you. On top of that, I had a weird cold that it took me a while to recover from. Happily enough, the nausea only lasted 3 or 4 weeks and even then, it was manageable. The fatigue made me very. very. very. unmotivated. I didn't want to leave the house ever. I was too tired to do anything. I have no memory of ever cooking. I assume A was fed and clothed somehow. I was also having a bit of city/culture shock and winter was settling in with its gray skies and rainy days. So the first trimester funk, cold, city shock, winter blues all combined to knock me down for the count.

But, my friends, I am better now. In regard to winter, I remind myself that the winter solstice has already passed so the days can only get longer and inevitably, spring will come. Winter blues are poof - gone. City/culture shock was resolved by getting the heck out of dodge, clear to another country. More on that in a minute. And as for the first trimester funkiness, that simply had to be waited out but now I am in the honeymoon phase of pregnancy, the golden second trimester, the I-feel-great-and-I-have-energy-and-I-don't-even-feel-pregnant trimester. That's my favorite part.

G spent most of December writing several papers with a deadline hanging over his head. He spent his afternoons and evenings writing paper after paper all month along for his class in January. He juggled the pressure of a deadline, his papers, doing things his wife was indisposed to do, caring for Ava, and I assume he did some cooking. Seriously, I have no recollection of cooking and we must've eaten somehow. G was wonderful under pressure. Now, that his papers are all turned in and he has finished his class, it's his turn to be down for the count with exhaustion and a cold. I guess stress will suppress your immune system and once the stress is gone, you just collapse for a little while. Well, it's perfect timing because I have the crazy energy and feel-good hormones all over the place and I can pick up the slack. Not that he's slacking. I'm just saying.

Christmas happened. I think I remember vaguely hosting my small group for a party on Christmas afternoon. I enjoyed it but it was still overcast by the first trimester funkiness. We enjoyed watching A opened her presents. A couple of days ago, I found a Christmas present that we'd stashed away for A but forgot to give her. Whoops. So, a couple of days after Christmas, dear friends and their cute blond little boy came to visit us for two weeks. We took them sightseeing and shopping in the city (and some of the sightseeing was my own first time) and we watched TV and played games at night - except for poor G. He continued to write papers at night while they visited except for a couple of game nights. I have pictures to post of all the fun that we had. We love our friends and we were sad to see them go.

Then, we hustled off to Prague for G's class. Prague is my favorite city in the world but man, it's brutal to sightsee in the middle of January. It was very cold and it snowed a few times. G's class was a two-week session and I only stayed for the first week. They had something planned for the wives during the first week with childcare but nothing for the second week. I didn't want to be cooped up in a hotel room for the second week with A since I knew it would be very cold so I decided that I would just come home after the first week was over. One of the lovely highlights of my visit in Prague was my two friends who came all the way from America to interpret the conference (held for the wives) the first week. They were such a tremendous help to me, a bl'ssing, and they brought goodies from America. It was good for me to spend time with the wives and most of them are mothers also, sharing experiences on the field and encouraging each other. It was good for me to get away from the city I live in, to do very little care-taking (no cleaning, cooking, or watching Ava), to reconnect with other like-minded folks, and to do fun things like sightseeing in my favorite city.

Prague is a short hop from Poland where I lived for two years some years ago. When I visited Prague, I was dating G long-distance at the time. Prague is so beautiful, old world, and romantic. I kept sighing and pining for G as I wandered around Prague, wishing we were together seeing the city. Prague is perfect for dating couples and newlyweds. Flash forward to Jan 2012. G and I were sightseeing with A in the stroller when I suddenly realized that I was actually in Prague with G. All that wishing and pining for him had been fulfilled - albeit with a kid in a stroller, ha! I was amazed that it actually happened and G was with me in Prague! We did some fun things like eating dinner on a boat while floating down the Vltava river that is crisscrossed with famous bridges and going to the chocolate museum. We even went to a gluten-free restaurant where I thoroughly enjoyed my meal. G, being the cute nerdy architect, admired all the architecture and snapped pictures. A just froze in her stroller. I don't think she had a good time.

Side note: I've lived in and visited cities before but never in one as large as IST, where we live now. When we walked around Prague a couple weeks ago, I was amazed at how small it was and how easy it was to travel around. I was wondering why I was getting that impression when I didn't have that impression in my previous visits. Then I realized that I was comparing it with IST. Prague is like a drop in a bucket compared to IST.

A and I flew home. I've flown alone with A before but never internationally. It was a direct flight, passport lines were short, the wait for baggage was long but by the time we got home, it would suffice to say that we were pooped. It was snowing when we landed and came directly home so that was lovely to see. For the week that G was still in Prague and we were home, A was sick, my computer battery died because I forgot and left my charger with G, and we stayed cooped up while it snowed and the cold snapped.

G is home now and obviously has brought home my charger. Life is settling back to normal. If you didn't hear from us for the last month, it was because a) I was deep in first trimester misery, b) had friends staying with us, c) I was out of the country, or d) my computer was dead. I'll let G list his own excuses.

Anyway, sorry this post is so long - pictures to follow soon!!

Due Date

I went to the doctor today. She did another ultrasound and measured the little baby, which gave a new due date. It was originally August 3 but now it's been bumped up to July 31. Not a big change but...important, anyway. It was good to see the baby's heartbeat and see the stubby arms and legs wriggling. The doctor said we can find out the gender a month from now. Yay! 

I have been AWOL from this blog for a while. I still haven't posted about Christmas and recent events. We have dear friends staying with us so we've been busy sightseeing in this awesome city. Hopefully we can post some pictures and let you see what we've been seeing.

We Are....

We are expecting a baby to join our little family around August 3! I am 8 weeks along.

You know, most people wait until the first trimester is over before making a public announcement like I just made. A lot of them do that because the risk of miscarriage is highest during the first trimester. I waited to announce my pregnancy with Ava, after telling only family and some close friends. I found myself doing the same with this pregnancy.

I got to thinking in the last couple of weeks. Why am I waiting? What am I afraid of? Our first pregnancy with baby Nikao ended in a miscarriage. That experience never goes away and can hang around like a specter in subsequent pregnancies. It hangs around in the back of your mind, coming to the forefront whenever something feels different, such as lack of morning sickness one day or a burst of energy another day, when the first trimester usually beats pregnant women down with fatigue and nausea. A previous loss makes you more careful, more paranoid. You avoid things with such undue diligence. Sometimes you're actually even thankful when a wave of nausea rolls over you because it's your proof that the pregnancy is still viable. With all of that comes the desire to wait to announce until the first trimester is over. Once you finally climb out of the first trimester pit and kiss it goodbye, you sigh a breath of relief as if all risk of the baby dying has disappeared in a poof.

But, you know, your pregnancy can end in a stillbirth in the second or third trimester. I don't mean to be gloomy, especially in the wake of our happy announcement. My point is that the risk of a loss doesn't stop in the first trimester. I could make the announcement at 12 weeks, only to lose the baby at 14 weeks. So what is it I am trying to avoid by delaying the announcement until the end of the first trimester if the risk, although low, is still present in the second and third trimesters?

I think that people follow the custom of waiting until the end of the first trimester to announce because if they do miscarry, then they can keep their pain private and to further avoid any more pain of having to explain over and over to many people that they've miscarried. It's understandable. I felt the same.

But, in doing so, I will have stolen the opportunity for the Father to be glorified. How is He glorified during a tragedy? With my miscarriage, I was walking through the saddest valley in my life and it was deep in that valley that I was paradoxically very happy. It was because I had such a tremendous, supernatural experience of walking with the Father closely, clinging to Him, and being infused with His comfort and strength. He didn't take the grief away but...I cannot put my finger on it...His brand of comfort somehow took away the bitter sting of grief. He is glorified because when I called to Him for help, He came through. He is able and faithful and will do the same for you.

This morning, as I was having my alone time with the LJC and my cup was overflowing, I was reminded - why are you afraid of another miscarriage? I remembered that the Father comforted me with our loss of Nikao. He can do it again but more than that, I know that He will do it again.

So, here I say: I am 8 weeks pregnant and I will not fear. In the case of loss, I will not hide my grief but will stand up and say, "The L-rd gave and the L-rd has taken away; blessed be the name of the L-rd," (Job 1:21). Let Him be glorified in me, in my life, in everything because He is good.